This Life Without You
by Normality-Isn't-Normal
Summary: What would have happened, if Romeo had not reached Juliet in time? If he had to live alone, without his love? Could he have ever been happy? Or is it true what they say, 'one cannot live without the other...? Oneshot.


Hello everyone. This is my oneshot for RomeXJuliet. It's slightly different than the ending for the anime, but I hope everyone likes it. This idea has been with me for a little while now, ever since I finished watching the anime. I love their romance, and I hope I have expressed it well enough in my story.

Please tell me what you think. I would very much appreciate reviews.

Thank you.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own RomeoXJuliet

* * *

It feels like an eternity since I lost you.

Do you know what I've been doing, all of this time?

I left Neo Verona. I couldn't stand to be there anymore, seeing all of those cheerful faces, all those happy people. It made me feel slightly sick, to think that anyone could be happy in a world where you're not there.

I left with Hermione. She was lonely; I was lonely. We needed each other, to fill the void. I haven't married her like my father planned. I could never replace you with another, and she knows this. We are just keeping each other company, and for some reason, I could find solace in no other, but her.

We are living in a quiet place, all by ourselves. We get visits from time to time, from all our old friends. Benvolio visits often, with Cordelia and his child; such a beautiful little thing. When I look into its eyes, all I think of is how beautiful it would have been, if we could have had a child of our own. It would have had your eyes; your smile. It would have been the perfect image of you. That, Juliet, I am sure.

But we never got that chance, did we? You were taken from me; sacrificed for the good of all.

Except me.

Not a day goes by, Juliet, that I don't hate myself for not reaching you in time, for not saving you from a cruel fate. Every day, my heart aches, wondering what would have happened if I had managed to save you. Maybe, we would have stayed together. Had a child together. Grown old together. Died together. And we wouldn't have had to hide our love, because we would have lived in a new world that would not have persecuted us because our affections sprouted from rivaled blood. We would have been happy together.

I have tried so hard, to forget you. I knew that thinking about you would cause me pain and discomfort. But I can't stop. Every waking moment is filled with thoughts of you, and every time I close my eyes to go to sleep, all I see is you. Your soft hair, that smelled like irises; your bright eyes; your rosy cheeks when you blushed; your warm smile that made me feel like I was the luckiest man in existence. Every time the thought of you creeps into my mind, I feel such pain, because I know that I can never have you in this world again.

Do you know what I want, Juliet? Can you read my mind from where you are? Do you know how I feel?

I want to hold you in my arms again, so close to my own heart so that there is not an ounce of daylight between us. I want to feel the weight of your lips crushing down on mine. I want to go to the field of irises with you again, and just sit there, watching the world go quietly by, knowing that we could stay there forever if we wanted to. I want to look into your eyes again, and tell you over and over that I love you. I should have said it more; I regret that now.

And more than anything, I want to go back to that old church we found, do you remember? I want to go back to that time, and hold your hands as I make my vow to you, to stay with you forever.

_'In life, and in death, we vow to be together eternally'. _

Do you remember? And I want you to make that vow to me again. I want to hear those words escape your plump lips, so that I can hold on to some small hope that you would never leave me.

I……I am so tired, Juliet. So very, very tired. I have not had a peaceful sleep since that time in our cottage. Every night is spent dreaming of you. I see you in front of me, your back turned so that I cannot see your face. I call out to you, and you turn, and see me. You smile, that beautiful smile of yours, and my heart flutters in response. I walk slowly towards you, in hopes that I can hold you. But as soon as I make a single step, you turn away from me. I freeze, and call out to you again in confusion. You don't hear me. Instead, you sprout beautiful angel wings, your white feathers glistening through the darkness of my soul. I call out again, panicking, because I know what is going to happen. I run towards you, my hand outstretched in hopes that I can reach you in time. But you take off, flying into the night sky, leaving me to walk the slow path alone on the cold ground. I scream to you, I cry out desperately to find you, but you leave me all alone. I wake up screaming, my eyes wide open in terror, seeing only darkness. This frightens Hermione very much. She has to shake me awake, and call out my name several times before I stop. Once, I awoke from my dreams on the balcony of our home, one of my legs dangling dangerously over the edge. Apparently, I had run out to the balcony to jump over the edge, screaming your name, and asking you to wait for me. I was going to try and fly, in hopes of being able to reach you at last. Hermione had stopped me just in time, and I woke up to find her crying in a mess on the floor, her long blonde bangs covering her tear-filled eyes.

Do you understand, Juliet? This is how much I love you. This is how much I want to be with you. My soul cries out, even in a state of unconsciousness, to be with you again. I want to be with you so much it hurts.

I can't breathe Juliet. This love is suffocating me. It is burning me from the inside, boiling my blood and making me sick. I can't focus anymore. I can't think; I can't eat; I can't even sleep peacefully without you.

And I would not have it any other way.

I need you.

I want you.

I have to have you Juliet.

I cannot stop.

And if I cannot have you in this world –

Then I will join you in the next.

You cannot be surprised Juliet. I have been thinking about this for a while now. You cannot expect me to continue this meaningless existence, living my days wallowing in the memory of you, can you? I have thought long and hard about this, and I have decided that this is what I want to do.

Do not hate me for this Juliet. I want to cut my life short, just as your life was cut short. I want to be with you forever, in a world where we can both be at peace. I guess it was just fate that decided that we could only be together in the world beyond.

_'In life, and in death, we vow to be together eternally'._

Now, I can fulfill my vow to you.

I am not afraid. Why would I be afraid Juliet? If I do this, then I can join you, and be with you. The thought of that, makes me so very, very happy.

I can just picture it now, my love. The soft white clouds dancing across the sky; the angels with their long, feathery wings.

And you. My own little angel, more beautiful and more precious than any other angel. I cannot help but smile when I see myself in heaven with you. It seems like pure bliss. I cannot wait.

I think I'll do it in the field of irises. I could leave the house early, travel to Neo Verona, and sit in the irises for the whole day. Then, as the sun begins to set on another day, I can look to the heavens, and think of you as I join you in the world beyond.

Tomorrow seems like the perfect day. Hermione says that it should be a beautiful day tomorrow, with no rain and clear skies. The perfect time.

So, wait for me my love. It won't be long now, until I can join you. I feel slightly excited now, at the thought of being with you again. A part of me wants to do it now, but I can't. I need to wait just a little longer, until I can get to the field. I want it to be perfect, for you.

It won't be much longer.

So please, Juliet, my love -

Wait for me.

* * *

Owari......


End file.
